The body knows

One piece of natural-childbirth "wisdom" I purely loathe is the bit that goes "your body knows what it's supposed to do." The list of things my body hasn't managed to do right over the last five years is as long as my arm, from hypothyroidism to infertility to preterm labor to two knee surgeries.

I did manage to get close to term, to breastfeed, and to spontaneously get pregnant, but then my body forgot how to eat and retain food, and it still hasn't figured it out. I have good days, but they're usually followed by bad days. Today was a good day for the most part, until I decided I was starving and desperate for protein. Unfortunately, just like my husband told me, the particular protein I picked is not sitting well, and now I'm wondering if I'm going to hang onto it or not. I do that on a regular basis, eat exactly the thing I crave desperately and later regret it.

There's a theory of morning sickness that postulates it evolved to keep pregnant women from eating potentially-toxic foods, and another that you crave the nutrients that your body needs most. In my case, I'm pretty sure it's not true, unless I'm really deficient in the bagel vitamins. I know I really need protein -- I'm eating a quasi-vegan diet at the moment, not from choice -- but it's the hardest food to keep down.

The good news is that the pregnancy itself continues to flourish. The Lagniappe itself had a nice strong Doppler-able heartbeat at this morning's OB appointment, and Dr. Pro even thought she could hear it moving a bit. I expect I'll feel it before much longer -- I felt the girls early, at 13 weeks, and they say you feel it earlier in second pregnancies. Other than the HG, I have no complications so far, no spotting or cramping. I'm down another two pounds in two weeks, still spilling ketones, but on the good side, I am generally managing to stay hydrated and haven't needed any more IVs.

Ten weeks tomorrow. Every time I have a good day, I think maybe the HG is tapering off, and then I'm disappointed when it comes right back the next day. One of these days, though, it will go away for real. I can't wait.