Anxiety

I'm waiting for the nanny to get here so that I can leave for my second beta, and I'm nothing but a big tangled ball of nerves.

I am so nervous that this isn't going to work out. I feel as unpregnant as it is possible to feel -- not even sore boobs. All of these started very early for me the last time, although I was both carrying twins and on PIO last time. I felt nauseated on the way to my first beta, and do again this morning, but I am quite sure that is just anxiety. Worst of all, I have had some fairly aggressive cramping, and only on one side.

I know all of the above is perfectly normal in very early pregnancy, and that it's natural to worry about it as well. However, to a certain extent I am waiting for that other shoe to drop. I got pregnant, well, easily enough, and without any serious intervention -- I haven't "paid my dues" this time. Surely there is some bad juju out there somewhere with my name on it.

Beta will probably be back at some point around 1 PM CST. Three more hours or so, and I'll know.