Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I am full of random

I have more random than time to blog, so here, have some bullety goodness:

  • The Percocet-free days count is now up to six. My last post started a string of bad days, but I have been feeling almost normal since last Friday, with only NSAIDs

  • I am not sure if this is a natural good streak, or if it's due to the new NSAID (Ponstel) I started taking on Thursday. My RE has had other endo patients do quite well with Ponstel, so it may be working for me too. Regardless, it's a good thing.

  • Andrew learned to roll over back-to-front, but cannot push over again onto his back. He expresses much TINY BABY RAGE whenever this happens, but promptly goes and does it over and over again.

  • He can even do it when swaddled, which produced a couple nights of acute misery. However, the purchase of a sleep positioner seems to have solved the problem for now.

  • I am still going to try to wean him out of the swaddling blanket, because he's outgrowing the thing.

  • He weighs 14 lb 8 oz as of Monday, so I've dropped another bottle, and he is now getting just one 4-oz bottle a day.

  • The improvement in my milk supply has brought me within 2.5 lbs of pre-pregnancy weight, if not quite so close to pre-pregnancy shape.

  • I have zero enthusiasm for doing anything else about that, and am thankful that "low milk supply" gives me an excuse not to diet.

  • As if I needed an excuse, being a grownup and solely responsible for my own weight and food behavior. Insert Shapely Prose rantage here.

  • Or I could try eating like a toddler. Claire in particular is getting rather thin, having better things to do than eat.

  • Having had a bout with eating disorders as a teenager, I'm acutely aware of the many pitfalls of raising girls, and modeling healthy behavior, and walking that fine line.

  • I am watching this story play out with my seven-year-old niece right now, who is just slightly overweight enough to have triggered my mother and sister into making comments about her weight and suggesting that she change her eating behaviors.

  • This probably deserves a post of its own, or a series of them. I'm pretty upset about the thing with my niece, and pondering how I'll handle the issue when it comes up (as I strongly suspect it will, especially with Katherine).

  • After months and months of bedtime/naptime chaos, I have finally instituted Project I-Said-Stay-In-Your-Beds. Bedtime is going supremely well, naptime less so. This too deserves a full post.

I think that's enough random, don't you?

Monday, February 02, 2009

Like an industrial accident

Pain-free days: 0

So much for that bright idea.


Sunday, February 01, 2009

This is not my beautiful life

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole endometriosis thing. Out of nowhere, I have a chronic disease that's going to have daily effects for the next ten or fifteen years, and all I can do is blink and say, "the hell? How did I get here?"

I have now had three relatively pain-free days in a row. Even the good days haven't been entirely good, I've still had some pain at here and there, but they've at least been good enough that I haven't had to take anything other than my usual handful of prescription-strength naproxen. It should illustrate the whole state of affairs, that three days of relative normalcy is noteworthy. Prior to that, the last week has included two days where I had to resort to narcotics, two other days where I made do with soaking in hot water, and daily cuddles with my rice bag heating pad.

(Some people make lemonade when life hands you lemons. Me, I sew up rice bag heating pads. If you can sew a straight seam, or have a friend who can, I highly recommend them. Take a 17 x 21 piece of 100% cotton fabric, fold it in half, sew it up on two sides, turn inside out, fill with 2 lbs of rice, and stitch up the remaining seam. Microwave for 2 minutes and it's a warm slice of heaven. Mine has a pretty cover with a zipper, but that's not essential for functionality.)

Anyway, so I've had a couple not-terrible days where I've almost felt like my old self, and it has really made a sharp contrast with the "new normal". I am hoping the feeling-good days are related to where I am in my cycle, because if that's so, at least I can expect a good week, maybe even two. If it's not, well, that's going to pretty much suck.

The reason I am trying to still make jokes about it is because I don't really have a choice. This isn't going to go away, at least not until menopause, although I have some hope that some treatments might help. I've decided against Lupron and Danazol, due to high failure rates and unpleasant side effects, but I'm going to try BCP. I want to make it to the six-month mark first, since I may well wind up having to wean Andrew. I'm going to ask for another ultrasound first -- I am deeply suspicious my left ovary's got some nastiness going on, which would push me toward surgery first. If not, I'll try BCP, and then another lap if things don't improve quickly.

I kept hoping we'd get this thing figured out, treat it, and be done, and I'm now having to come to grips with the fact that it won't happen that way. There's been a shift in the status quo, but it's taking me some time to make my peace with it.